1. You start writing a text. Then you stop. Then you start writing again. The person on the other end sees that grey dot dot dot bar start and then go away, then start, then go away. Apple should change this to simply say “YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE LIED TO”
2. You constantly put the phone on the table with the case up. They should sell cases for these people that read “I TEXT SECRETS! DON’T READ MY SECRETS”
3. If your preview is completely turned off. Its always fun to see a phone alert that just says “text message”. Apple should change that to “message from a villain”
4. All your locations services are shut off. The message here is “I never want to be found especially when I’m at that Bridgeport whore house”
5. The number of photos in your “camera roll” is different than in your “photo stream”. The 15 missing photos, all boob shots.
6. You change your password every three days. The only person who needs to change a password this much is Edward Snowden.
7. When you pull phone out of pocket in group settings, smirk and put it away. This implies “everything here is fun but somewhere I have a sex slave who needs water”
8. If you answer the question “who you texting?” with “nobody”. Just admit it’s a guy, a girl or your dealer.
9. If you take the phone with you in the shower. I mean actually in the physical shower, where the water hits it.
10. It’s the middle of the day and you constantly send your calls to voicemail. “I cant be bothered to answer this, I’m in the middle of a bank robbery”