How awesome is staying in a hotel–not a sleazy, pay-by-the-hour kind of place like these gems you’ll find in CT — but you know, the kind with well-groomed people working at the front desk.
Here are the reasons why staying in a hotel is almost as great as the reason why you’re staying in one:
1. THE KEY CARD
It’s like a credit card with no limit on how many times you can get into your room. The best part is the little noise the door makes when you successfully insert it. It’s always a little nerve-wrecking waiting for the light to flash green—is it REALLY my room? Oh hell yea it’s allllll mine! And how responsible do you feel when you don’t lose that card once during your stay?!
2. SEEING YOUR ROOM FOR THE FIRST TIME
How amazing is it to walk into your room for the first time? Wow—all of this? Look at the closet! And the TV! Notepads! A desk! If you’re real lucky, you get a living room and now you’re planning ways to utilize the couch so you don’t waste it.
Would they notice if I stole all of them, because I think the store where hotel pillows are sold is a speakeasy that only the maids are allowed to get into.
4. MINI TOILETRIES
Or as I say, souvenirs. Take all of them and throw them into my bag so I don’t have to use my own shampoo and soap for three days when I get back home? Don’t mind if I do.
5. CENTRAL AIR
Am I getting the electricity bill? No? Cool–this baby is getting set to 10° below tonight and I’m doing some extra snuggling in all these millions of blankets tonight. As soon as I can get these bottom sheets unstuck.
6. TOBLERONE BARS
You get charged basically another night’s stay for looking at the mini bar…but if there’s an extra massive Toberlone Bar in there, you gotta go for it. Because who eats those things in normal non-hotel life?
7. KEEPING THE TV ON ALL NIGHT
The only channels you get? The local news/weather and Court TV. And you can’t turn it off! It’s even more addicting in a hotel room. Can’t. Stop. Watching.
8. ROOM SERVICE
Sitting in your comfy bed at 3am with the air conditioner on full blast, watching the same rotating piece on the local restaurants is not complete without room service. Sure it’s a gross $25 burger that takes 45 minutes to arrive. You’ll fall asleep before it gets to you, and it’s always an awkward, half-asleep exchange in your bathrobe with the bellboy…but it’s all about the experience!
9. THE SHOWER AND TOWELS
Is it me, or do I feel like I get cleaner in hotel showers? And there are more varietals of hotel towels then varietals of wine…and I have to use all of them. If you’re in a super fancy place, you get one of those towel warmers…that all of my cloth-like items will be hanging on my entire stay. Soak it up, a hotel is the only time and place where it is acceptable to take a 90 minute shower.
10. CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST
Sometimes it’s just a table with some pastries…and sometimes you’re treated like a king with cereal in those cool dispensaries and bagels with a toasting conveyor belt. If your continental breakfast provides mini jars of jelly and ketchup, you’ve hit the lottery. Ooooh, and what treat is hiding underneath this buffet platter top?
FAKE HOTEL EGGS!!!!!
11. HOUSE KEEPING
The hotel provides ample closet and drawer space. Where are your clothes? Everywhere except the closets and drawers. I’m a real traveler, I live out of my suitcase. So when you return to the room expecting it to still be messy, you’re always a little surprised that housekeeping came and cleaned up all your crap, just so you can mess it up again.
You know you’re walking around your room feelin like Hugh Hefner.
I didn’t even notice you fall, I’m too busy admiring how dapper you look in that bathrobe sir.