After the Magnificent Seven rode through town to snatch the Box Office Championship from Tom Hanks’ Sully, Denzel & the boys are going to have some stiff competition in the form of the pride of Dorchester, the Harry Potter-ized X-Men, and a comedy that has been shelved more times than artisanal jelly.

First up: Deep Water Horizon

WHAT’S IT ABOUT (via IMDB): A story set on the offshore drilling rig Deepwater Horizon, which exploded during April 2010 and created the worst oil spill in U.S. history.

The Rock may have topped Forbes’ list of richest actors in Hollywood, but Mark Wahlberg might be the most consistent. The dude knows how to pick a project. He is the master of starring in movies about actual events. From Invincible to Lone Survivor to Deepwater Horizon to next year’s Patriots Day, Wahlberg pulls on heartstrings until it rains cash at the movies. Expect this to clean house.

Second up: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

WHAT’S IT ABOUT (via IMBD): When Jacob discovers clues to a mystery that spans different worlds and times, he finds Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. But the mystery and danger deepen as he gets to know the residents and learns about their special powers.

Here is my rule of thumb when it comes to picking a movie: if the trailer runs quotes that describe the movie as the combination of two other movies, it gets rocketed to the bottom of my list. In TV spots running this week, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children was described as “Harry Potter meets the X-Men.” If a movie needs to reference two separate franchises to get an audience interested, I go from interested to iffy in zero time. You had me at Tim Burton and Eva Green, but you lost me at everything else.

Third Up: Masterminds

WHAT’S IT ABOUT (via IMDB): A night guard at an armored car company in the Southern U.S. organizes one of the biggest bank heists in American history.
Man, I want this to be good. I want this to be good and I want it to find an audience. While I’m pretty sure that over time, I will be sure this is good, I am pretty doubtful that this will find an audience until it’s on cable constantly. Masterminds has been getting bumped from schedules for the better part of a year, so while I’m glad it is finally seeing the light of day, it will most likely come and go pretty quickly.

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