You really shouldn’t steal. It’s a bad thing. It’s an illegal thing. It hurts a probably-innocent person who no longer has their stuff. Just don’t do it. Ever.
But if you’re going to do it, there are certain groups you really shouldn’t steal from. Chief among them? Cops. Do not steal from anyone ever, but especially do not steal from cops. Because, after all, it is cops who will be responsible for finding and arresting you. And something tells me that they’re not going to be super polite when they bust you for taking their stuff.
Sadly, one Connecticut Man never got that little memo and now he’s on the run. According to CBS Connecticut, police are searching for Justin Parsell after he allegedly stole an assault rifle and tactical SWAT gear from a police cruiser earlier this month.
The gun and gear have since been recovered, but that doesn’t absolve Parsell of his crime. He stole from the police. Worse yet, he made them look pretty dumb with how easy it was to take that stuff. According to the report, the cruiser was just sitting unlocked outside Bridgeport Police Sgt. William Simpson’s home in Milford.
So literally all Parsell had to do was walk up, open the door, take what he wanted, and leave. And he did just that, while also leaving a handprint on the front windshield.
Good news for us? Simspon was suspended for leaving his cruiser unlocked like that, meaning he probably won’t do that again and fewer criminals will have access to his weapons and gear.
Bad news for us? Parsell is still out there. But we shouldn’t worry too much. If I’ve learned anything from cop dramas, it’s that Simpson’s buddies will show Parsell their appreciation when they finally get him in handcuffs.