Everyone’s favorite superhero, Connecticut man, is back! This one, however, just couldn’t pull off stealing a golf cart. He tried like hell, though!
Stamford Advocate reports that police have since called this would-be thief “incompetent.” Basically, this dude pulls up in a truck and tries to tow his prize away.
One problem, though. He obviously doesn’t know how to tie a knot. Actually, people called his rope-tying abilities “kindergarten.”
Also, someone managed to catch him on film. That’s a pretty important part of the puzzle, too.
This spectacular fail was so bad, police don’t know if this guy had anything to drink. Or, if he simply drank too much.
So the security footage shows this guy racing in with his truck, jumping out, and grabbing a webbed construction strap from the back. He then runs over to the golf cart but quickly finds out he parked too far away and the rope isn’t long enough.
So, he jumps back into the truck, reverses it, and parks it closer to the golf cart. The rope successfully reaches the cart, which he ties around the wheel, and jumps back into his vehicle.
But, the knot slips off as soon as he peels out of there.
Yes, this video is a wild ride from start to finish. Who wants to bet police died laughing as they watched this video on repeat and, possibly, again in slow motion?
Still, the question remains. Was this guy inebriated?
Proof this guy didn’t have anything to drink: He still had his coordination. He backed up his truck with no problem. Also, he managed to peel out of the crime scene without losing control of the vehicle.
Proof this dude was completely obliterated: He needed to preposition his truck because the rope was too short. He also failed to tie a knot, so it came undone the second he started pulling away.
Lastly, he thought dragging a gold cart behind his truck with a rope was a good idea and not suspicious at all.
But, honestly, I figure it’s a big waste of time to debate Connecticut man’s sobriety. Instead, I’ll just call it what it is. This man has the IQ of a mannequin with a head injury.
Also, the cart wouldn’t have gone anywhere even if he did manage to tie a spectacular knot. Someone stole that golf cart before, so the owner shackled it to the ground.
Needless to say, Connecticut Man simply wasted his time. Yet, as a gift to us, he left behind one heck of an incriminating video.
Either way, if you recognize this man, call Stamford Police. I think they want to shake his hand or something…