There have been plenty of Connecticut Man stories. Each one, in its own unique way, is astounding. Whether it’s overconfidence, “carefully” laid plans, or just plain stupidity, each Connecticut Man has found a new, jaw-dropping way to get himself into trouble.
But today, we get to see a first in Connecticut Man history. A 25-year-old Woodstock man named Harrison Wootton is the first Connecticut Man to actually tie his fashion into his crime.
According to NBC Connecticut, Wootton was caught trying to flee the scene after he crashed his car into the stone wall of a cemetery in Putnam. That’s bad, but it gets worse. When police brought him in, he was wearing the perfect T-Shirt. It read: “Hold My Beer and Watch This.”
If you’re at all familiar with the “Hold My Beer” moniker, you know that it’s usually the last thing uttered before doing something stupid. For example, “Hold my beer while I prove I can use a pogo stick on a trampoline” or “Hold my beer while I show these professional jugglers how to really juggle knives!”
Or, in Wootton’s case, “hold my beer while I put my own life and the lives of others in danger while wearing a stunningly appropriate shirt for my reckless behavior.”
Well, we’re all watching, buddy, but something tells us you’d rather we look away. Because not only are you facing charges for operating under the influence, not having insurance, having another vehicle’s plates on your car, and swerving all over the road, but you are also now a joke for the entire state of Connecticut to point and laugh at.
Oh, and since you had to get arrested and processed, whoever was holding your beer probably drank it by now. But we’re sure you realized that when you woke up in a cell.