This story is weird in a lot of ways, but such is the way of our beloved Connecticut Man. He doesn’t go for simple crimes or straightforward schemes. He’s an original. And today is no exception to that rule.
Today’s visit with Connecticut Man comes via the CT Post and takes us to Weston, where 21-year-old Nabeel Abdullah is facing six-degree larceny and conspiracy charges for a very weird crime. Apparently, he stole some very fancy electric toothbrushes.
Which brings us to our first question: Who in their right mind steals toothbrushes? There’s only two possible motives here. Either this guy really need to brush his teeth, or he was hoping to resell the toothbrushes to someone else and make some money on the deal. Both motives seem a little flawed, if you ask me.
If he really needed to brush his teeth, here’s a groundbreaking idea: Just buy the old-school manual one. I have to imagine most people still use them. It gets the job done, it leaves your mouth feeling fresh, and it can’t cost more than a couple dollars at the super market. Next time you go grocery shopping, just throw one in the cart! Problem solved.
If he’s trying to resell them (which seems more likely in this case), I have bad news. Unless he’s a dentist by day and a criminal by night, no one is buying an electric toothbrush from a random guy. That’s literally a device that goes in a person’s mouth at least twice a day. Typically, when it comes to stuff like that, the customer likes to have a clear chain of custody. If I don’t know where that toothbrush has been, I’m not buying it and putting it in my face.
As for our second question, it’s less for Abdullah and more for the toothbrush industry at large. The heist amounted to two of the fancy electric toothbrushes. But the value of those two toothbrushes? $425.38! That’s insane! Imagine if you had a thousand dollars in your hand and said, “Yeah, I’ll use more than 40% of this money to buy toothbrushes for me and my friend.” You can’t imagine it, right? That’s because it’s crazy. No one should do that. It shouldn’t even be an option!
So sure, Abdullah’s got to answer for his crimes. He shouldn’t have stolen the toothbrushes and he’ll be punished for it. But the real criminals here might be whoever is selling a toothbrush for more than $200 a pop. Lock that person up.