7th. The answer is seventh. According to Tableau, Connecticut ranks seventh as the best drivers in the nation. I think that’s a good reason to celebrate. Granted the reason why I think we made the top ten is because most of our traffic is so incredibly terrible that we’re forced to drive at the whopping rate of seven-miles-per-hour on the highways. It’s relatively hard to hit and crash into other cars when you’re at a standstill for a majority of the time- but hey, rejoice!
Vermont took the top spot for the nation’s best drivers and that’s because they barely have anywhere to go and are way too laid back. It’s true. I’ve spent a great deal of time in Vermont and I’ve noticed two things that are vastly different than Connecticut-
1. Most of their women don’t shave their legs or armpits.
2. The roads are wide open and no one is in a rush to get anywhere.
I think it’s hard to compete with a state like Vermont for the top spot. It takes them seventeen minutes to get the nearest gas station- but that’s because the closest station is 47 miles away from their house. I have a gas station exactly 1/4 of a mile from my home and there are mornings will I will sit at a congested intersection for seventeen minutes… while I stare directly at the gas station. It would literally take me less time to put the car in park, get out of it, walk to the station, fill it up, and return to my car and funnel it into my tank than to just sit in blind rage while seven school buses and two minivans block four lanes of traffic.
Nevertheless, there’s one thing I know for sure, we’re in a hell of a lot better shape than South Carolina, Texas, and Mississippi. They were at the bottom of the list. Because, you know, the south- terrible drivers… and Texas is just angry for no reason. Everything is bigger in Texas… including their drunk driving arrests.
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