Oh you Connecticut State Police, you’re so sassy!

Perhaps it was a bad breakup.  Maybe her parents banned her from seeing her Romeo.  Either way, a emotionally distraught woman attempted to run away from her problems on Valentine’s Day.   One issue, though, she was running in the middle of a highway.

Motorists swerved around her, horns hoking and lights flashing, which only caused her to fall deeper in despair.  Police attempted to reason with her, but their pleas fell on deaf ears.  Instead, she slipped through their grasp and continued her pilgrimage to I-84.

The State Police knew they had to unleash the secret weapon.

Police deployed an unnamed trooper who bore a sharp hairline, smoldering eyes, and the heart of a lion.

In order to bring this distressed lady under control before she got hurt, the unnamed trooper invoked the powers of Derek Zoolander to tame her wild heart.  With lips pursing, he mesmerized her one perfect hair toss at a time.

She happily surrendered herself into custody.

Needless to say, t’was a happy ending for all.

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