Who cares about poorly paved roads and the skyrocketing cost of education… when candy cigarettes are the REAL enemy! That’s basically what Southington proclaimed to the state the other day. Yeah, screw the major issues because a candy might corrupt our children.
Yeah. Give me a break.
NBC Connecticut reports that the town of Southington wants to ban candy cigarettes. They say this move would protect children from developing future bad habits. Apparently, if a kid eats a box of candy cigs, they’ll develop a positive connotation with the real deal.
As if. I ate plenty of those boxes when I was small and never picked up the nicotine habit. Because, oh, I dunno, I knew the difference between candy and not candy?
Also, the DARE program was pretty darn influential. Far more than a happy looking box of candy sticks.
And, seriously, THAT’S this town’s biggest concern right now? Yes, honest to goodness, it is.
A group of concerned students brought forward a petition to outlaw the sale of candy cigarettes. The kids are part of a tobacco prevention work group, so it sounds like they had plenty of time on their hands to think of a new enemy to rail against.
They said the Apple Festival inspired the proposal because someone sells candy cigarettes there.
That said, the town’s ordinance review committee liked the idea and vowed to pitch it to the Town Council. Now, instead of worrying about budget shortfalls, ailing roads, and crime… they want to outlaw candy cigarettes. It’s the major issue over there.
Someone cue that crazy lady on the Simpsons that wails, “Think of the children.”
Luckily, the town people seem just as flabbergasted about the proposal as I am.
Resident Jeff Guertin laughed at the idea:
“I ate them as a kid [and] I don’t smoke cigarettes. I think it’s absurd. It’s just more things that they’re taking away from us.”
Other residents and council members also expressed concern that this law might be a bit overreaching. Others say this kind of law would just be one gigantic overreaction.
However, the town fears that some kids might not understand the difference between tasty candy and nicotine. So, they might start jonesing for the real deal because they had one good experience with the fake stuff.
Sounds like an overreaction to me.
What will they ban next? Water guns because they might make kids want to play with real guns.
Oh. Wait. That’s already happening in our schools. Nevermind.
What’s the dumbest law that you know of? Should Southington ban candy cigarettes or do you think they should worry about something else?