Sometimes, Connecticut man takes a backseat for Connecticut Woman. If you need a refresher on who Connecticut Man is: he’s someone who’s antics rivals that of Florida Man. Once in awhile, the title falls onto a woman’s lap. However, this particular woman takes the cake in the crazy department.
I mean, who’d defile delicious fresh pizza? What justifies the need to throw a hot pie at someone and not into your gaping maw? That’s just rude and immoral. Not to mention a total waste of precious food.
Fairfield Citizen says today’s Connecticut woman is 44-year-old Amber Llorens. She and her husband allegedly began fighting around 1am after a get together at the SeaGrape.
So, obviously, alcohol was a factor.
Anyways, after meeting up with friends for a birthday party, Llorens and her hubby decided to grab some pizza. You know, nothing helps sober you up faster than greasy pizza. Also, not many pizza joints stay open past midnight. So, that’s why they settled on Domino’s.
But, then their friends called and asked for a favor. A really stupid favor.
Basically, one of their buddies left a few things behind at the bar and wanted them to pick it up. While hubs agreed, Connecticut woman Amber said no way!
Actually, we kinda side with Connecticut woman on that. Chowing down on a piping hot pizza totally outweighs helping out a friend in need.
Obviously, a major argument exploded and pizza slices went flying. Such a tragedy…
Police received a call around 1:44am and found pizza slices on the floor of their Land Rover. (Hey, this happened in Fairfield. People in Fairfield have money to defile luxury cars…)
Obviously, police asked what the flip happened because who in their right mind would use pizza as an assault weapon?
Anyways, Connecticut Woman Amber swore her husband tried dragging her out of the car before she threw the slices. She later redacted that tale because she “forgot” when it happened.
Still, how can we at CT Boom forgive such a heinous crime of defiling delicious pizza? That’s why we support her charges of disorderly conduct. Personally, we think that’s a slap on the wrist.
Then again, what possibly did her husband say to make her even WANT to destroy a perfectly good pizza? The world may never know…
And that’s why we crown Amber Llorens’ today’s Connecticut woman. Congrats, Amber!