Corny jokes are… well… corny.  That said, there’s no shortage of Connecticut jokes that will make you roll your eyes, sigh heavily, and ponder what idiot made that up.  With that said, here’s a list of them to bore your friends, embarrass your significant other and offend strangers.


A guy in Torrington is making out with this chick in the back seat of his car. All of a sudden she asks him, “Will you kiss me where it stinks?” So he starts his car up and peals down the road to Waterbury. 



Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Connecticut campus A: A visitor. 


Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Connecticut’s football dorm that destroyed 20 books? A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet. 



Q: What does the average Southern Connecticut State University student get on his SAT? A: Drool. 



Q: If you have a car containing a UConn wide receiver, a UConn linebacker, and a UConn defensive back, who is driving the car? A: The cop.



Q: What does a Connecticut Huskies fan do when his team has won the BCS championship? A: He turns off the PlayStation 3. 



Q: What does a Milford resident and a bottle of beer have in common? A: They’re both empty from the neck up.



Q. How do they separate the men from the boys in Connecticut? A. With a restraining order. 



Q. What’s the first thing a Stamford girl does when she wakes up in the morning? A. Walks home.



Q: What did the girl from Vernon say after sex? A: Get off me Dad, you’re crushing my smokes! 


Can you make up better corny/offensive jokes?  Leave them in the comments section.



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