Crazy “Duke” Arrested After Throwing Shovel at Woman
A crazy Middletown man known as Kirk “The Duke” Lisica was arrested yesterday for a number of charges but most importantly for throwing a shovel at a woman’s head.
The guy sounds like the king of douchebags.
The woman who was hit with the shovel had gone to talk to “The Duke” after her mother had some injuries on the stairs of their apartment building. Her mom had told her she fell up the stairs (which yes, that does happen) but other people in the building say he actually pushed her and caused the whole thing.
So this woman shows up to confront some granny-pushing monster (pictured right), got in an argument with him and left. When she reached the outside of the building she heard people screaming “Kurt no! Stop Kurt!”, which is something you never want to hear after just leaving a crazy person named Kurt…or Kirk…who knows.
Next thing she knows, something hits her in the head, she’s covered in blood and basically blacks out since she doesn’t remember anything after that point.
“The Duke” allegedly threw a shovel “like a spear” according to witnesses off his third floor porch. Good aim! After he hit his target directly in the head he went back inside to no doubt watch Maury reruns.
After about a million witnesses called 911, police showed up and went to the third floor apartment where “The Duke” graciously met them at the door, claiming “a black guy” attacked him. Nice try. “The Duke” was arrested and nicely went with police. The woman was taken to the hospital and needed 10 staples to her head to close the wounds.
The “good behavior” of “The Duke” ended immediately when he was placed in a holding cell. He punched the walls and doors, which “Duke” if you haven’t seen Shawshank Redemption, it takes a little more than that to escape prison. Ironically enough, a shovel would probably suffice. He continued to throw his food around the cell, urinate in it and broke the security camera in the cell as well.
So “Duke”, while everyone was having a normal, boring Wednesday, you decided to launch a shovel at some poor lady, beat your hands against a concrete wall, throw food and pee in a 6 by 8 foot room where you need to stay for at least a day? Way better choice than all of our decisions.
“The Duke” was charged with assault, reckless endangerment, breach of peace and criminal mischief. He was held on $100,000 bond and was expected in court today.
(Whew made it through this whole story without one “dig himself out” shovel reference…)