As usual I am stunned by how stupid people can be. It’s one thing to advertise “adult massages” (which is the fake legal way to sell sex) online, but to actually have the balls to straight up offer illegal drugs is astounding. If I was a cop and saw an advertisement to buy heroin, I would laugh it off. I would assume it’s some stupid kids trying to be funny- Well, not this time.
18-year-old Alexis Chidester and her real winner 28-year-old boyfriend Thomas Birkbeck Jr. (both from Norwich) were arrested after a tip led police to the Craigslist ad. Clearly these officers also couldn’t believe this was true because they set up video surveillance and scheduled an undercover meeting with the worst drug dealers in America. Sure enough, when the undercover cops met the drug duo they had tons of heroin. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars of heroin… and it was true, they were selling on Craigslist. You think the Craigslist bandits would have realized would figured something was up when the the cops used the name “Axl Rose” to set up the drug deal. (I’m kidding, that didn’t happen but it would be a lot funnier if it did)
You know who I feel bad for? This girl’s parents. It’s one thing that your teenage daughter is dating a loser that’s ten years-older than she is- but he also has gross empty ear gages AND happens to be a heroin dealer… who sells on Craigslist. Either little Alexis has serious daddy abandonment issues, or she has done an incredible job of humiliating her family.
Seriously. Heroin. On Craigslist.
Despite my desperate attempt to find that original Craigslist post, I was unsuccessful. I actually did a search on “heroin” and (not) shockingly, nothing came up. This is what I envision the Craigslist post to sound like…
“Yo! We got heroin. Tons of it. We sell it to you if ur not a cop. If your a nark, u can’t respond 2 this ad. Call 860.XXX.5555. Yolo Bitches”
I did succeed in finding her on Facebook. She just graduated from a great CT high school this year. Augh. Way to throw away your life. Oh, and lots of selfies on that page. Lots. She also has almost 1900 friends, she couldn’t just sell heroin to those people without Craigslist?
They were arrested and charged with possession of heroin, intent to sell and being stupid. Okay, maybe the being stupid thing isn’t actually a charge. Both were released on $25,000 bond and are due in court later this month.