There’s a story making the rounds today about a bill being presented by the Connecticut state legislature’s Public Safety and Security Committee to set a cap on the sound level of films being shown at Connecticut theaters. They want to set the maximum sound volume at 85 decibels, which is the industry standard. I’m not sure what the impetus behind this law is, but it doesn’t really seem like anyone would suffer from it, theater owners or patrons. Truthfully, it doesn’t really make all that much sense from either standpoint.

Regardless, I’ve personally never really encountered a situation where I found a movie to be too loud in any Connecticut theater. However, I am all in favor of this law for one simple reason – the following movies that are coming out that no one, anywhere, should have to actually listen to:

Airplane vs. Volcano (March 28) – let’s start with Public Enemy No. 1, from the makers of “Sharknado” comes this piece of garbage (and at least “Sharknado” had a clever title – they just gave up with this one):

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A Haunted House 2 (April 18) – do you remember how funny the Wayans family used to be? “In Living Color” is one of the all time great comedic TV series, and yet, because we all went to see one film called “Scary Movie” that was such a tremendous success, as Americans we’ve had to suffer for it for years:

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The Other Woman (April 25) – don’t be fooled by Kate Upton in a bathing suit, this movie will be unwatchable (let’s be honest…this trailer is unwatchable):

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Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club (May 9) – there literally isn’t one word in that title that makes me want to see this movie:

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Blended (May 23) – Mr. Sandler, how dare you continue to finance and produce motion pictures?

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Image: (c) iStock/Thinkstock

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