For CT By CT: Advice To The Clueless On Going To Court
Submitted from CT BOOM Guest Writer Rob,
First and foremost, look presentable. If you were going to a wedding or church or a friends funeral or other event that commands some sort of respect would you dress like a slob ? Wearing your girlfriends skinny jeans with no belt, a hat sideways, high top sneakers and your hair looking like a rats nest will not help you in the least. Women coming in with their tube tops which are too small with stretch marks on their chest showing, sweatpants and flip flops – are you serious ? Dress like you actually give a shit and you might make a decent impression. If you are a female wearing a one-piece dress hugging every curve of your body and you’re in 5″ heels and expect to get some respect please reconsider. If you are a male impersonating Eminem or Little Wayne and you think the court is going to “hear you out” when you’re dressed like you’re attending a rap version of Gathering of the Vibes you better think again.
Secondly, take a shower and wash your hair. No one who has to be in court for four to six hours wants to smell you, your armpits or anything you’ve laid on or rolled in over the past 24 hours. This also includes those of you who need to smoke 12 cigs or some weed before entering the place where you want a reduced charge or want to make a good impression. Helpful hint: smelling like you just smoked a big fatty in your car will not get your drug charge reduced.
For the big mouths. If you are in the hallway waiting to be seen or waiting to speak to the public defender or the prosecutor, it might be a good idea to NOT drop F bombs and talk about how high you were or how many molly’s you took which resulted in the cast and ace bandage get-up you have on your left thumb. Shut the fuck up and wait your turn in line. It’s people like you who “can’t understand” why you’re unable to get ahead. You never know who is walking through in the hallway and can pass whatever you’re talking about onto whomever you’re about to speak to in order to get your weed possession charge reduced.
If you are parking and need to walk to the courthouse, realize that this will impact what time you get into the courthouse. There is the time to park, walking to the courthouse, and then getting through the metal detectors and into the court. Wake up early regardless of why you are going and get there. Don’t use the excuse “there was no parking” because that is over used and lame. Everyone knows there is no parking!
To the baby’s momma’s out there – get a babysitter! There is NO REASON why your child should be subjected to anything I spoke about above. Everyone is capable of finding a babysitter when the court gives you ten days notice or more in regards to when you need to appear. Your child should not be in the courtroom hallways laying all over the dirty tiles and touching every germ infested thing in sight unless you are looking to work for the W.H.O. in discovering the next vaccine for a plague.
Lastly, be prepared. You should always ask if there is anything you need to fill out in order to proceed. Have all of the paperwork you need and STOP PLAYING DUMB. There is a section in each courthouse which contains the paperwork you need to fill out. Ask questions in a respectful manner and it might get you somewhere. If you don’t understand the form you are filling out – ASK. Again in a respectful manner – Ax’ing someone a question and saying “I don’t unnastan deez shitz” will get you nowhere. Asking questions might even enlighten you and make you privy to a few things. Ignorance and playing dumb only irritates people especially when all you have to do is ask respectfully without an attitude.
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