A Guide On How To Deal With Your Family During The Holidays
The stress of the holiday season can seriously magnify family dynamics and quirks. That passive/aggressive giggle of your aunt’s? The way your brother clears his throat every time he begins a sentence? Your grandfather’s latent racism? It all seems a billion times as annoying when you’re forcing yourselves to spend quality time together simply because ‘tis the season for blinky lights, eggnog, and dealing with the festering guilt you feel about being an abject disappointment to your parents.
It’s a little bit different with in-laws, because you have to be on your best behavior. When you’re at your parents’ house you can just kind of derp around in pajamas while engaging in loud debates with siblings about whether or not they’re behaving like assholes. But with your partner’s family? Forget it. You have to behave like a human being, and a kind and sophisticated one, at that.
But how to deal, without letting somebody’s 6-year-old niece alternate between braiding your hair and staring at your boobs for an hour and a half, before you flip the dining room table over like the holiday Hulk? My favorite coping methods include:
· Taking a nap
· Drinking a lot of alcohol and then taking a nap
· Pretending that you have a really important thingamabob due to your boss – even though it’s the holidays, because he’s a jerk – and sequestering yourself in a dark room with a laptop, where nobody can see that you’re watching episodes of NCIS Los Angeles instead of crunching numbers
· Volunteering to run errands. I once literally jumped out of my chair at the chance to drive to CVS and grab diapers for my sister-in-law’s infant. I had literally never bought diapers in my life and didn’t know what size to get, or even that diapers come in different sizes
How do you deal with the holidays? How do you handle your family? How do you talk to an angel?