Not that I have a son (and nor would I want one, or any kids for that matter!) but if I had a miserable little spawn who was out of control, I would immediately tell my local barber to do what’s being done at a suburban Atlanta barbershop called A-1 Kutz.
See at A-1 Kutz, you can take your misbehaving boy in and ask for the “Benjamin Button Special,” which Russell Fredrick and his team of barbers are offering — free of charge — to parents who want to try a novel form of discipline. The cut involves shaving hair off the child’s crown until he begins to resemble a balding senior citizen, inviting that unique brand of adolescent humiliation that can only come from teasing classmates and unwanted attention.
Seriously, look at this kid’s face.
And lemme tell you this, having lived in Atlanta, I can assure you that the parenting in the South is an entirely different animal. Oh, what, you think it’s terrible that the entire point of the haircut is so the kids get bullied in school? Tough. That’s just the hardcore parenting in the South, because those folks still get how it should be done. They actually realize that out of every form of discipline possible, taking punk kids who think they’re a badass and sitting their ass down to give them an old-man haircut has to be the funniest thing ever.
Speaking of which, how’bout one more time for good measure?