Please Don’t Tell me You’re Dumb Enough To Believe This Story
Social Media & even reputable news sources have been in quite the tizzy today, over the story about a missing 3-year-old boy who was “Found inside an arcade claw machine.”
(You can see the photo of this incident above)
This of course, is complete and utter bullshit.
Yet, it seems to me that people are buying this lie and find the story both adorable and heartwarming thanks to its happy ending.
If that’s you, I have to ask seriously; what in the hell is wrong with you?
How can you possibly believe that this small child found an opening big enough to crawl up into this machine, when one can’t even fit their hand into one without it getting stuck or nearly snapping it off? You can’t be that stupid to think this happened, can you?!
Here, lemme explain what happened.
Some adult opened the machine. That adult then picked up this child and placed him in the machine. Said adult then took photos and alerted others about the missing child a short time later in hopes of media coverage. Media shows up, fawns over feel-good story, and turns this kid and his dumb family Internet famous for a few days.
Y’know how I know this?
BECAUSE THIS IS BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE STUPID BALLOON BOY HOAX FROM FIVE YEARS AGO!
Oh, you remember this little asshole and his self-absorbed family, right?
Those parents should have spent the rest of their lives in prison just on principal alone, but nope, they’re now out and still sticking to their claim that their kid was on that balloon.
Randomly enough, the kid and his brothers have started some kind of metal band-which is cool-but seriously, fuck this family and anyone else who’d use a kid to get their fifteen minutes of fame.
It’s just gross.