Who wears short shorts?
Well, according to residents of Ridgefield, definitely not dudes! Yes, if you can believe it, police were actually called because some guy had the AUDACITY to wear a number that perfectly showed off his sculpted chicken legs.
Police were notified of an “inappropriately dressed person” and, obviously, were told to investigate. As evidenced by this tweet, they were SO EXCITED to investigate.
Police responding to an inappropriately dressed person near Marty Motors on Danbury Road.
— The Ridgefield Press (@RidgefieldPress) July 27, 2016
Can you imagine that poor guy, who woke up feeling confident enough to show off the body God gave him, only to have the general public try to impose a dress code violation? I mean, my goodness, that’s almost as bad as an exposed bra strap! Or a skirt falling above the knee! Or… or… my God, the ultimate sin – exposed collar bones.
What is the world coming to??
With a fine male specimen showing off his luxurious long legs, of course police had to intervene, because obviously they must have been too distracting to the folks who needed to concentrate on driving and mowing their lawns. I mean, it is his responsibility to make sure that residents are able to focus on what’s really important: their yard work. It is a man’s duty to make sure his clothing doesn’t distract property owners from what’s important.
Anyways, police arrived at the scene of Mr. Short-Shorts and probably spent a good portion of that particular highlight of their day trying to find a camera to stare into, kinda like what the actors did on The Office.
Update on the Marty Motors person wearing inappropriate clothing: “he’s not bothering anyone,” cops say. Just in short shorts. — The Ridgefield Press (@RidgefieldPress) July 27, 2016
Sad news for Ridgefield or ANYONE else who thinks short shorts belong on a woman… fashion retailers like J Crew and the likes are really pushing to make them a thing again. Of course, like any product geared to their male clientele, it has to have a very masculine name. Kinda like “Brogurt” or “Brogamats.” Or “Dr. Pepper Ten”
So, what are short-shorts for guys called? Thighceps.
I am well aware this entire article is a train wreck from start to finish. I mean, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what justified a call to police over pants. I can do many things, but that is one task I simply cannot accomplish. To be honest; I am actually kinda proud of that.
Via Ridgefield Patch