Today is the day I, regrettably, learned what scabies are. The long-story-short is that the infection known as “scabies” is less like a normal rash and more like a tiny insect burrowing into your skin and laying eggs there. Actually, it’s literally that. It’s a tiny scabies mite deciding your skin looks like a pretty cozy nest, digging underneath, and depositing some future-scabies-mites. It’s gross.

Now, you might be asking yourself, “What is wrong with you, Doug? Have you no desire to keep your breakfast down? Why in the world would you learn what scabies are?”

Those are all fair questions, and the answers are fairly simple. Nothing (I think), I don’t really eat breakfast, and it’s all Bristol’s fault.

You see, as any good person who writes on the Internet does, I was perusing the local headlines when I came across this WFSB story about a Bristol elementary school dealing with scabies outbreak.

“Hey,” I thought. “Scabies is a funny-sounding issue. If it’s not fatal or truly dangerous, maybe I can poke fun at this somehow on that site I write for.”

Then, like any good person who writes on the Internet does, I read the article and looked up scabies on Wikipedia. Cue the nausea.

While I would really love to forget any of the above ever happened and move on with my life, you’ve read this far and joined me in my nausea, so you should at least know the story behind it.

As WFSB reported, South Side Elementary School in Bristol is dealing with a potential scabies outbreak. One kid definitely had it (ew), and for whatever reason, the school didn’t tell anyone. Parents didn’t find out until they got a notice from Bristol’s health department.

The report added that the infected child was taken out of school, treated, and has now returned, and the school has been thoroughly cleaned, but parents are now left worried their kids could be infected. Symptoms could take up to two months to present themselves, so it’s going to be a long, stressful wait.

That sounds super annoying, but more notably, super gross. But hey, I don’t live in Bristol, and if you don’t either, you can now join me in forever blacking out this part of your memory.

What do you think? Comment below