“Ohhhhhh look at that shrubbery over there…it’s just so lush and green. I love it when the sprinkler hits it with water and the leaves become all….. dewey. Stop looking at me shrubbery, you sexy beast, you!”. These could’ve been some of the thoughts rolling through Wallace Berg’s head on Monday, right before he put in some sexy time with his backyard shrub in Stratford.
I gotta admit, sometimes landscaping is a HUGE turn on, am I right!? I know Wallace would agree with me.
Apparently, according to the police, Wallace’s love making session was interrupted by a neighbor who didn’t appreciate the public display of affection (why you gotta ruin someone’s party, man!?) and promptly called 911 complaining.
Police arrived and Wallace was told to stop. He has been charged with public indecency and 2nd-degree breach of peace.
This just makes me feel like I gotta control myself this weekend at the Vibes… I love huggin’ some trees! (reduces anxiety, try it!).
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