Who Steals Grocery Store Sushi?
Regardless of the random man standing in the grocery store wearing a sushi chef’s hat, (they’re trying to fool you into thinking it’s real sushi) the California Rolls that you can find at any local grocers is disgusting. Who are they fooling with that refrigerator case? Sure, you put out chopsticks and tons of soy sauce packets- but we all know the truth… it’s gross, fake, sushi. The rice is hard, the fish tastes rubbery and there’s never enough wasabi in that container with the fake green plastic grass. (Honestly, who are they fooling with that fake grass?) Imagine that in another parallel universe that sushi was delicious… Seems farfetched- but apparently one Hamden man lives in that bizzaro world… and he’s on the loose.
Police are searching for a Hamden man who wandered through a Shop Rite eating the store boxed sushi the entire time. Handfuls and handfuls of gross sushi. Apparently he couldn’t get his fill of the Japanese delight because he then stole several more boxes of the dried white rice and lumpy crab meat and took off into the parking lot. When he was confronted for stealing the sushi in the parking lot, he got into a physical altercation with the security guard. To make matters even more odd, he stole the security guard’s portable radio then fled in a white van. (Of course it was a white van… That’s what all the creepers drive)
Police are on the look out for this man and you are being urged to call them at 203-230-4030 if you see him. Of course, this means you are looking for a balding man, shoving day old Dragon Rolls in his mouth driving a white van… while talking on a Shop Rite security guard radio. Amazing.