If you woke up this morning and looked at the local headlines, you probably saw the story about the Boston man who broke into and robbed a Hamden store, and defecated on the floor before leaving.

Admittedly, it’s kind of a funny story. Super gross, but funny.

Now, you’ll notice I chose to use the word “defecated.” However, our illustrious, award-winning journalists who work for the two largest newspapers in Connecticut, decided to take the story in a different direction.

Let’s start with the Hartford Courant. You know, the Hartford Courant, right? The oldest continuously publishing newspaper in the entire United States of America? They decided to take a try with a very New York Post-y type headline:

Police: Man Steals Tools, Leaves Stools

Actually not terrible. Well done, Christine Dempsey.

Not to be outdone, the New Haven Register tried their hand at it, and were a bit more blatant:

Boston man charged with smashing into Hamden business, pooping on floor


Now, I know it’s 2015, and that the newspaper industry is having a bit of a hard time staying relevant (and staying in business). So they certainly need to do something a little sensational here and there.

But shouldn’t they have a little more of an air of respectability? Probably.

I like my news to be actual news.

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