Stock up on your Indulgences because the Rapture will be here before you know it.  A Christian numerologist believes that the stars will align just right and mark the 2nd coming of Christ.

Oh boy.

Fox 61 reports that David Meade affirms that the date of our demise is April 23rd.    Basically a once in a lifetime celestial lineup occurs on that day.  It says the sun, moon, and also Jupiter (which represents Jesus) will be in Virgo.

The Bible, apparently, speaks about that exact lineup. Revelation 12:1–2 reads:

“And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of 12 stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth.”

The woman, apparently, is Virgo. But, wait, there’s more!  The alignment also represents the Lion of the tribe of Judah,  AKA the Rapture.

So, it’s confirmed, then!  The Bible says so, which makes this an official prophecy of doom.

Oh, yeah, the fabled Planet X, also called a “Death Planet,” will finally appear in our skies on that day.  This bad boy will apparently create tidal waves, volcanic eruptions, and earthquakes everywhere.  Fun fact, the name of Planet X is Nibiru.

That sounds… like my first DBZ original character.

Anyways, Meade confirms that this is “a unique once-in-a-century sign exactly as depicted in the 12th chapter of Revelation. This is our time marker.”

So, yeah, this might be the real deal everyone!  Time to slip in that last bit of debauchery before the devils come to take us away.

Then again, NASA says that there is no such thing as Planet X.  In fact, they say it’s a giant hoax that’s been going strong for 23 years.  Considering these guys have their telescopes pointed at space 24/7, I kinda believe them.

They did have over 20 years to find the death planet, anyway.  Unless it’s stashed away in a galaxy far, far away and piloted by Darth Vader… wait, wrong timeline.

Besides NASA, author Jonathan Sarfati  expressed doubt over all these Rapture claims.  Sarfati “is a young Earth creationist chemist and former New Zealand national chess champion.”  Hmmm, sounds official.

He believes the Rapture is meant to take us all by surprise and won’t happen on a given date.  He also says Meade basically cherry picked what he wanted to see to come up with his prediction:

“As usual with any astrology (or Christian adaptations of it), one cherry-picks the stars that fit the desired conclusion.   There is nothing to suggest that April 23 is a momentous date for biblical prophecy, and Christians need to be careful about being drawn into such sensationalist claims.”

Basically, lots of people think this is yet another Rapture hoax.  Meade began calling for the earth’s doom in October, and then November, and then the month after that.  Lucky for us he took the winter off, right?

Anyways, we have a date with fake destiny on April 23rd.  So, where do you think you’ll wind up?

Considering I work in radio and my dark sense of humor… I think I have a booth down under reserved just for me and all my terrible life decisions.  Would love to have an invite from heaven, though.  That’s where all dogs go… and I want to be where the puppies are.

What do you think? Comment below