As a single guy living in a big city, knowing few people other than the ones I work with, I go out drinking more than I probably should. This is mostly because:

A) Drinking prevents me from feeling feelings.
B) Drinking makes me temporarily forget that I now live in a city I mostly despise.
C) Drinking gives me false courage to hit on pretty young things.
D) There’s precious little else to do.

So, with that said, I now often find myself imbibing at local watering holes at a time I never really had in the past. And that’s Sunday nights.

Now maybe it’s because I’ve really never been in a bar on a Sunday night until recently, but there’s a disturbing trend that I’ve now witnessed multiple times that I find both incredibly annoying and downright unfathomable.

Patrons “shushing” other patrons while they’re drinking and talking loudly. Y’know, like everyone does at every bar on the planet.

I quickly realized why this was happening around me during my drinking binges on Sunday nights. Because many of the other folks in the bar on that particular evening are there solely to watch the popular television show du jour while simultaneously getting hammered.

Whether it’s “The Walking Dead” or “Homeland” or “Boardwalk Empire” or whatever, it’s now quite apparent to me that many people are now hitting up bars to go watch these shows with other drunks, and proceed to treat the bar they’re in like it’s their own goddamn living room. In other words, telling complete strangers (like yours truly) to “pipe down” or giving me the straight up “SHHHHHHH!!!” while I’m trying to have a conversation with someone else close by.

Listen. If this is you, and you practice this kind of behavior, you need to be locked away in a prison for the rest of your life, you selfish asshole. You’re in a bar, not a fucking library or a courthouse. I don’t care about your precious dumb television show that you’ve invested all of this time into, and I certainly don’t care that you’re in this bar to watch it because you can’t afford basic cable or HBO. In fact, if the latter is the case, here’s a tip for you. Get a better paying job, you lowlife.

“Shushing” people in a bar, is akin to doing it at a concert, or a professional sporting event. It shouldn’t ever happen. Those that do this kind of thing should realize that they’re in a public atmosphere that’s SUPPOSED TO BE LOUD, and if they get all mad because they can’t pay attention to whatever is playing on the television or big screen at the local watering hole, tough shit. It’s a bar. What else do you expect?!

In the meantime, I’ve decided to deal with this issue not by confronting those who’ve actually “shushed” me at the bar (that would take too much effort. Plus, I’m a pussy.) but by no longer going out to drink at bars on Sunday nights. I figure it’s all a matter of time before I’m drunk enough that I actually DO end up getting stabbed for telling someone where to stick it after they tell me to be quiet, plus, I’m sure that my poor liver could use some much needed rest as well.


photo credit: (c) digital vision/Thinkstock


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