Get that festering yellow ear-wax flavored jellybean away from my mouth and my family.
So, raise your hand if you fancy the fake flavor of melted butter contained in a bean-shape? Anyone? Because, somehow, the popcorn jellybean is CT’s favorite one of all.
Candy Store released an interactive map detailing the most popular flavors in each state. Some states selected delicious flavors like watermelon, pear, and cherry. However, Connecticut, along with 10 other states, declared popcorn the superior flavor.
Horrifyingly enough, Candy Store dubbed it the #1 flavor in America.
Excuse me, what? Your honor, I’d like to throw out the witness testimony and fill the jury with competent folks with a functioning sweet tooth.
Even my two nieces blanch at the yellow jellybean because they know how horrible it tastes. And that says something considering these two will devour an entire bag in one sitting.
Popcorn flavor tastes like salt, cardboard, wall insulation, and powdered butter all in one. It makes me want to gag and write to J.K. Rowling to include this in the latest Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean box.
I imagine the British billionaire would find room in her heart to grant my request. It’ll blend so deliciously with the booger and rotten egg jellybeans.
Okay, call me a hater, but you know I’m right. When it comes to the superior jellybean, bubblegum is best. Although, cherry and black licorice hold a spot near and dear to my heart, too.
What, my grandma loved licorice and I developed a taste for it because it reminded me of her. Sue me. Black licorice is bomb. (As an aside, it ranked 2nd best in the study. But, I’m skeptical. Lots of people thing BL is pretty gross.)
But, back to the egregious topic at hand. Since when did POPCORN become so popular? I have faith that if I decided to walk a random street in New Haven and ask passerby about their favorite jellybean flavor… I won’t hear a single peep for popcorn.
Anyways, ready to hear how CandyStore created their findings?
They ran an online poll. And based everything off 12,000 votes. Yeah, anyone else want to think people deliberately messed with their “scientific” research?
Although many people disparaged the popcorn jellybean in the comments section, CandyStore asserts that “Thousands of people love this smooth, salty and savory jelly bean the best.”
Those “thousands of people” probably think the earth is flat, too.
So, are you one of those popcorn fans? If so, defend your darling to me. I dare you to change my mind.