Imagine with me, if you will. You and your buddy are walking in downtown Westport and trading PokémonGO tips when you stumble onto a sight fit for The Onion.
A naked woman coming in like a wrecking ball on an old church.
Hard to believe that actually happened, but considering people in Connecticut are getting weirder, it’s now the sad reality we all happen to live in.
Daily Voice says two young men playing PokémonGO discovered the rampaging woman around 3pm at St. Luke Church, where she was toppling statues of the Virgin Mary and throwing them into a pool on the property.
Huh. That’s gonna lead to some interesting flashbacks at their next sex ed class.
Anyways, the boys made a beeline to church staff, who then quickly phoned police. Officials took the unnamed woman to Norwalk Hospital for observation, but didn’t disclose any further information.
The Church’s pastor, Monsignor Andrew Varga, believes the attack was random and is praying for the woman’s recovery.
See? PokémonGO is doing good! It got a screaming crazy naked lady off the streets.
It also may have prompted some advanced bonding with mom and dad. Meaning, that must have been a very interesting conversation when the boys told their parents how their day was.