Normally, I like a Connecticut Man story to be harmless and hilarious. It’s a great combination that brings together stupid criminals and comedy, with a dose of public humiliation. The Connecticut Man who drove his jeep into the ocean and destroyed it is a perfect example.
But once in a while, we have no choice but to delve into the darker sides of Connecticut Man. Today’s store is such a time. According to Patch, a Connecticut Man was arrested in Milford last week for public indecency, breach of peace, and risk of injury because he was pleasuring himself in his car while driving by a group of “juveniles.”
Somehow, that isn’t the worst part. The worst part is that, according to Patch, this is at least the third time this Connecticut Man has been arrested for doing this.
This isn’t so much funny as it is alarming. First of all, he’s endangering kids. Second of all, he’s making everyone uncomfortable in public. And lastly, he’s clearly not learning his lesson.
And it’s that last bit that makes me saddest. A perfect Connecticut Man is one who does something dumb, deals with us laughing at his expense, learns his lesson, and moves on to lead a less crazy life. This guy isn’t getting the memo at all. He just keeps freaking out kids and other people in public and just being a creep.
I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but he doesn’t even deserve to be part of the Connecticut Man lore. That does a disgrace to the Connecticut Men who follow the script and don’t do serious harm to others. So we’re officially downgrading him to Creepy Guy from Milford. Hopefully a scarring nickname will get him to change his behavior.