My fellow Nutmeggers, I must ask you a serious question. What would you do for fashion?
On a scale of 1 to 10… just how brave are you? Because, I have a challenge for you.
Okay, before we jump into the topic at hand, let’s explore my mentality a little bit.
First of all, I admit that I am a woman and experience my fair share of strange clothing supposedly marketed to me. Clothing that I should be practically dying to wear. Like heart shaped fur jackets or wedge sneakers. Oh, be still my heart…?
Yeah, those are totally practical. It’s prime everyday wear. I can envision myself now just grocery shopping in overly distressed jeans, laced up bodysuit, and oversized choker. I’m the Gucci-est girl alive and no one can stop me.
So, anyways, there’s a new fashion statement that is even worse than all those aforementioned clothes combined.
clavicle napkin ‘Out From Under Extreme Crop Tank Top Shrug.’ It’s bold, it’s brash, and hella confusing. Because that’s fashion, baby. And Urban Outfitters.
hell is empty and all the devils are here pic.twitter.com/9ingulAQ43
— Alanna Okun (@alanna) March 10, 2017
So, yeah, this is a thing now. Or, it was. Turns out Urban Outfitters quickly realized their mistake and yanked this little guy off their website because no one shared their artistic vision.
Still, it didn’t stop people from capturing screenshots and collectively laughing over it on the Internet.
And I have a few questions about the whole thing.
Firstly, what the heck do you even do with it? Is it really supposed to be worn over a bra or it it really for bikini season?
Secondly, who greenlit this? Did someone have cold clavicles that day and felt profoundly moved by the presentation?
Thirdly, just why? What is its overall function? Is it irony? Is it a brazen “show off your boobs” marketing tool? Or is it a profit scheme by the clothing industry to offer women scraps of cloth for ridiculously high prices? The world will never know!
Meanwhile, the person missed the point of “no shirt, no shoes, no service.” Because I bet if I tried getting a seat at a restaurant with that on… I’d be asked to leave. If I wasn’t, I’m probably in the wrong kind of restaurant.
Besides, unless if you have the body of a prepubescent boy, there’s no way it’ll make you look good. Heck, it probably would do the opposite of making you feel fearless and empowered.
Not even the world’s cutest bra could save that outfit. Or mom jeans. Or anything, really.
Then again, if you have $16 bucks for a strip of fabric and an avaricious desire to be noticed by absolutely everyone… knock yourself out.
So, I ask you: is this a bold fashion movement or just plain stupid?