It’s not nice to stereotype people- But when you think of someone that would rob a home in wealthy Darien, you don’t necessarily think it’ll be a girl that looks like she just had her hair blown out at the Blow Dry Bar down the street. Apparently not all thieves are scruffy looking men wearing black hoodies. Meet Connecticut’s alleged newest type of thief: Princess Alexis Jordan of Hamden.
The 22-year-old was busted after she allegedly broke into a Darien home. The homeowner, a woman in her late 60’s, was home alone (uh, it was around two o’clock in the afternoon) and spotted the girl. Despite the fact that the Princess (note: She’s not an actual princess, but she seems like she should be wearing some type of tiara in her mugshot) hit her in the head with a wooden box (WTF?), the woman was able to get a description of the getaway vehicle. She quickly called 911 (this is one feisty 68-year-old) and police pulled over a car matching the description a short distance away. They arrested the Princess and her 24-year-old boyfriend, Michael Apuzzo, who was driving the getaway car.
I’m just curious- Between getting those highlights and updating your pedicure when does it cross one’s mind to rob a home? This is what I imagine the conversation to mimic:
Princess: (Yawn) I’m soooooo bored Mike. I can’t believe that spa bumped my hydro-wrap appointment. Augh- Now what are we going to do until I get my hair highlighted at 4p?
Clearly a Junkie Mike: You’re such a pain in the ass. All you do is waste our money on your nails- Why don’t you find a job.
Princess: I have an idea, remember when all those cool kids in Hollywood broke into Paris Hilton’s house and stole her stuff? Let’s rob an innocent old ladies house!
Clearly a Junkie Mike: Yeah, alright. While you’re at it, make me sandwich.
Okay, maybe none of that happened. But they were both arrested on charges of home invasion, larceny, and possession of burglary tools. Princess faces additional charges that include an attack on an elderly person.
Who breaks into a home and hits the homeowner with a random wooden box? They’re both due in court… No word on whether Princess will attend court with her new ombre hair color.